Top Ten Noisy Things in a Ukrainian Village

Top Ten Noisy Things in a Ukrainian Village – as selected by Teresa

10. Garry says the 6 am bus to Zaporosia-there are cars, motorcycles, scooters, trucks and the noisiest tractors roaring past at all hours- maybe not the tractors at night, but everything else

9. Doves- it sounds silly but who woo ccccoooo cooing is really noisy

8. Renos- if not here then down the street- drills, chain saws, and the rumble of cement being mixed.

7. Pigs- there is a pen next door and when they are being fed or chased- pandemonium

6. Geese- geese (in a group) are very noisy, when something is happening near them, or they think they are getting fed in the pen next door, or when they are let out to play in new puddles after it rains.

5. Chickens- roosters- crowing from about 3:30 am (when it is not light) to 4 in the afternoon. Hens clucking to gather their chicks as they hunt bugs around our yard -no we don’t have chickens- they are mostly free range, only penned up at night. Neighbour lady calling her chickens home at dusk – coo-coo-coo- rist-ta!

4. Cows –it is not so much the cows letting out a bellow as they go past the gate twice a day as the dogs all barking as they go past-

3. Dogs- the dogs’ only job in a Ukrainian village is to serve as an early warning system to scare off intruders- and they take it very seriously – they bark if something or someone comes into their yard, passes their gate or looks like they are thinking about it, and sometimes run down the street chasing bicycles and barking

2. Car horns- people announce their arrival and sometimes departure when visiting by blowing their horns- in case no one heard the dog going crazy- maybe so someone will grab the dog ( most large dogs are tied- little ones run around) They blow their horn to say I’m going around you. One Saturday a constantly blowing car horn announced the presence of a big white limo with a bridal party driving around the village.

1. People selling stuff- if you want to sell live chickens or the pig that is cut up in pieces in your trunk, or are buying old metal junk, you need to tell people in their houses that you are out on the street to do business, so you drive slowly down every street in the village, either blowing your horn- normal or clown car version, yelling Chickens- not expensive! Lucky sales people have loudspeakers or sirens to alert everyone from the other side of the village to their wares. One day a hardware store on wheels- a large truck –with a trailer stacked full -rolled past announcing his wares with his loudspeaker- nails, tools, drywall- not expensive.